This project was made as a response to the essay “Joy” by Zadie Smith. In the essay, she describes joy as bittersweet—an “admixture of terror, pain and delight.” That nuance inspired me to put Smith’s words into sound. My biggest influences beyond Smith came in the form of songs: “Atmosphere” by Joy Division—an uplifting plod filled with sparkling sounds and dark, delicate vocals; Brian Eno’s early-electronica track “Another Green World;” and Ween’s soothing “Zoloft” (inspired and aptly named after an antidepressant). All these songs remind me of Smith’s vision of joy, striking a balance between happy and sad. In making my song, I took elements from each of them—a Joy Division inspired bass opens the track, “Zoloft’s” sparkling synths emerge in the climax—to try and create a song that felt as solemn as it did uplifting. I recorded a few of the instruments at home with my synthesizer, and I programmed the rest on digital instruments in a rudimentary workstation called Soundtrap.
