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Wolfsmith: Shave Your Head, Now!

The shaved head is truly a mysterious thing. The bare scalp, a canvas for a million assumptions: Are they a monk? A convicted felon? Perhaps even a cultist?

My proposal is this: everyone in Northwest Academy – staff, students and all – should take to the buzzer and join the bald brigade.

That’s right.

I firmly believe that every single person should not only be encouraged, but required, to shave their head if they wish to remain a part of the NWA community. Here is why you (yes, you) should shave your head.

It’s for the aesthetic!

To begin with the most obvious reason we have the ever-important aesthetics. Now, you may think that cutting off all your hair is eliminating creativity, but I disagree. With a clean-shaven head, you are given a blank slate on which to create your own unique masterpiece. Want a full-scalp tattoo of Mars’ surface? Go for it. Want to look like the protagonist in your very own anime? There’s a nearly endless variety of wigs available on the internet. Just want to draw a smiley face on your head with sharpie and call it a day? Totally possible.

Even the potential “downsides” of removing your entire head of hair are few and manageable. If you’re worried about the cost of the aforementioned wig and tattoo, the money saved from getting a haircut every month will easily offset either of those options. But the main barrier keeping most from shaving their heads isn’t cost; it’s the opinion of others. This is understandable, it’s no small decision. However, if everyone is bald, shaving your head becomes an act of unity, rather than isolation. 

It’s hygienic!

Often overlooked as an advantage of shaving your head, but relevant nonetheless, there is hygiene. You know how your hair gets greasy if you don’t shower for a while? Well, there’s a large concentration of sweat glands on your scalp, and all that sweat accumulates in your hair. You wouldn’t wear a sweat-soaked sweater in a sauna. With a shaved head, you allow your scalp to breath, preventing bacteria build-up and potential pore infections. Not to mention it’s much easier maintenance-wise. Speaking from experience, it’s quite satisfying to use body wash on your head. This also makes showers extremely fast, allowing those with busy schedules to spend less time on their hair routine and more time doing the things they actually care about.

It reduces stress! (Potentially)

If you’ll allow me to step out of the factual and into the emotional, I’d like to propose that shaving your head is an effective way of decreasing stress. The experience of shaving your head is an inherently cathartic one. Depending on the length of your hair, months or even years of progress are erased nearly instantly. This massive loss sinks in after the first sweep of the clipper, and a wave of emotion hits you. Some cocktail of adrenaline, panic, regret and acceptance rushes through you, fingers trembling and breath shaky as you stare in the mirror. It’s a beautiful experience, and I think everyone should experience it at least once.

Of course, in a perfect world, this would be mandatory, but my point still stands. On top of that, a bald head is an effective, if unconventional, stress reliever. It’s hard to explain to those who haven’t felt it, but for some reason, the texture is extremely satisfying. These things combined make shaving your head an effective mental health booster, and I think we all need one of those right about now.

It brings us together!

Now, these are all good reasons to shave your head, but why is it important for the whole school to partake in this sacred act? Well, that’s pretty simple. In a time of Zoom and online restrictions, we must foster our creativity in any way we can. In the midst of a global health crisis, we must do everything we can to stay healthy, both physically and mentally. But most of all, we must maintain our community, in every way we can. COVID-19 makes it extremely hard to form and keep connections with the wonderful people at our school, which takes away one of the main things that makes Northwest Academy unique. We need to use all the tools at our disposal to help keep our school alive.

Who’s to say that shaving our heads isn’t a part of that?

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Asher Wolfsmith
Asher Wolfsmith
Asher is a junior at Northwest Academy, aspiring chef, and horror enthusiast who thinks that having a shaved head should be mandatory.

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