In my family’s car, shotgun always plays music from the aux cord, curating a soundtrack for the car ride. My brother and I would take turns sharing the latest music we had found, each time turning the Venn diagram of our music taste more and more into a circle. He had always been more of a fan of rap than me, often putting me onto songs and artists I would never have discovered otherwise. One of those artists is J Cole. Over several years I would be able to rap every bar of many of his hits: “Kevin’s Heart,” “MIDDLE CHILD,” “Wet Dreamz” and “No Role Modelz.” Even though it was not something I would ever listen to in my own time, these songs grew to be something I would hope to hear in the car every time he had the aux. Once the pandemic hit and we stopped driving everywhere, I lost the occasional chance to hear these songs. Even though I had started to form a small appreciation for rap music, I wasn’t able to see it in the same light as my friends that listened to mostly rap.
After the pandemic hit, I spent more time inside and the only form of social interaction I had was through online apps and video games. Dora, Elmo, Yasmin and I (real names withheld for privacy reasons) would spend hours every day during online classes and later at night in discord calls, almost always listening to music together. Discord has a function that allows users to connect to Spotify, where one person would control what everyone else listened to. Elmo was the designated DJ of the friend group, showing us popular music, like Kendrick Lamar and Mac Miller, as well as lesser known artists like Kota the Friend, and Smino. Each of them brought something unique that I appreciated: well thought out lyrics, interesting production, or social commentary. My favorite at the time though, was J Cole. He did what every other rapper did, but better.
During May of 2021, J Cole released his sixth solo album, The Off-Season. Dora, Yasmin and I all stayed up watching the release timer, wanting to listen to it the second it was released. The album was his first solo project in three years, longer than any time between his past solo projects. It was one of the most highly anticipated albums of that year, and the most highly anticipated event at all in our friend group. Its release was so big it completely crashed the Spotify servers for several hours, all of which we spent listening to previous J Cole works in preparation. Once we were finally able to listen, Yasmin, Dora and I all listened together, comparing our favorite songs, and screaming “THIS IS SO HYPE” over and over again for hours. The combination of J Cole’s energy, lyricism, production, and the experience of listening to it with my friends made something click in my mind, making The Off-Season one of my favorite albums, and rap one of my favorite genres. I listened to popular albums, found playlists online, and bugged every friend I had for recommendations. Eventually, my journey led me back to J Cole’s discography, and I listened to all his albums. In my search, I found my new favorite album, 4 Your Eyez Only. It was unlike any rap album, any album I’d heard before. It dealt with complex themes of death, love, and grief in a complex and interpretable way. with the meaning being hidden right under the surface, leading to fruitful excavations of his lyrics.
4 Your Eyez Only was written about the story of the death of one of his good friends. The entire album is riddled with heavy emotions, dealing with grief, the loss of control, police brutality and violence in the Black community. The album brings you into Cole’s mind as he processes the death of his friend, going through the five stages of grief. The album opens with “For Whom The Bell Tolls,” an ethereal soundscape filled with mixed imagery processing his shock, and his inability to comprehend the gunfight that kick-starts his journey. “Immortal” follows, an in-your-face song dealing with his experiences dealing hard drugs, repeating the mantra “real n***as don’t die” over and over. through the first stage of grief: denial. “Deja Vu” follows, moving through the second stage: anger. Cole reminisces on past relationships, putting them on blast for leaving him, hurting him, and he uses the song to air out all their dirty laundry. He goes in depth into how they wronged him. “She’s mine pt. 1” is where the album takes its turn tonally, and sonically. It’s the first ballad of the album, going through the experience of meeting Melissa Hoholt, the woman that would become his wife. All the following songs are more mellow, as he leaves his anger to better himself for this Hoholt. He moves into the third stage, bargaining with god, hoping she will somehow stay safe as he lives his dangerous life. “Change” is the most important song on the album, completely transforming his perspective on life. A hopeful, upbeat tone breaks through the dark sounds of the album, showing a moment in Cole’s life where he decides to take action to change his own life, and use the power he has to do good in his community. He describes his realization: “I sit in silence and find whenever I meditate/My fears alleviate, my tears evaporate/My faith don’t deviate, ideas don’t have a date/But see I’m growing and getting stronger with every breath.” He finds strength through religion, his community, but most importantly, himself and his ability to be better. “Neighbors” goes into the 4th stage, depression. He returns to his hometown many years after leaving, coming back to a community that doesn’t accept him, and describing his loneliness being isolated from the one place he felt like he had a home.“Foldin’ Clothes” follows him through the final stage, acceptance. It documents how he uses his newfound philosophy from “Change,” to better his community, going around getting to know each and every member of the community, and using his money and influence as a rapper to lift them up. “She’s Mine pt. 2” comes from a time after all the events have unfolded, and he reflects on his life after having his first daughter. A beautiful ballad that encapsulates every emotion he showed throughout the project, and bringing it into the present day, showing where he ended up.
The first listen of the album didn’t even unlock the first piece of this interpretation, barely scratching the surface of this thematically dense masterpiece. I realized how complex and interesting music could be. Every few weeks I would come back to the project with a fresh perspective, each time having a completely different interpretation of the songs. After realizing the complexity music can hold, I was motivated to become a musician myself, picking up several instruments, and starting to write songs. Since then, I haven’t experienced a project as lyrically dense and thematically complicated, though that hasn’t stopped me from trying.
