When I was 10, I had a crush on Hermione Granger. I was an avid Harry Potter fan, all of the novels worn to tatters by literally countless readings, not to mention miserably inept at making friends. Hermione was intelligent, read books, cursed evil-doers: everything my younger self could have wanted in a girl. Seven years later, I’ve moved past the Harry Potter series and my childish love for Hermione, but that feeling still sticks with me. How could love for a fictional character feel so real?
I didn’t have the vocabulary to describe my feelings at the time, but what I was experiencing was a parasocial relationship. A term coined in the 1950s, used to describe one-sided platonic and/or romantic feelings towards a celebrity/TV personality who the subject had no real relationship or experience with. It was a pretty niche term, and largely inapplicable to society as a whole. That is, until recently.
Technological advancement and shifts in culture have made parasocial relationships a much more relevant and complex topic. In the ‘50s, the only real ways to form a parasocial relationship was either through television or literature. However, the internet changed everything. Video sharing sites like YouTube allow independent creators to produce content that is entirely their own, allowing viewers to “get to know” the individual behind the screen. Live video streaming sites take this to the next level, further breaking down the barrier between real and parasocial relationships by emulating the feeling of hanging out with a real person. Japanese anime and manga, which has become increasingly popular in the West, is infamous for the number of parasocial relationships it can create.
Now, this cultural and technological shift isn’t the only explanation for the increase in parasocial relations. While yes, it is much easier to get attached to these people and characters then it used to, I’d like to argue that this is not the root cause. This is not a problem of technology: it is one of mental health.
Why would someone create a (functionally) imaginary relationship? My answer: because they are lonely, depressed and/or anxious. Parasocial relationships are most commonly seen in young adults and teens, an age group that was raised in a technologically advanced environment, as well as one that has seen a undeniable increase in depression and anxiety rates. Parasocial relationships have become an emotional bandage of sorts, a strange side effect of the internet age. After all, it’s much easier to become “friends” with a character, an exaggerated, understandable persona, then it is to take social risks.
Now, understanding the problem is nice, but why should you care? To start, technology is only going to get more complex, and if our current trend in entertainment continues, parasocial relationships will only increase in relevance. And while technology can definitely foster connections, it’s clear that the internet and social media, more often than not, makes us feel more isolated. Those who are open about their parasocial relationships (though primarily on the internet) are shunned, furthering their loneliness. I don’t think parasocial relationships should be normalized, but I do believe that they are a cry for help, and should be treated as such. The human condition is only going to get stranger, and the only way to adapt to that is to have an open mind.
Photo: Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Yup, I feel the same way except I feel like she is my sister plus I felt a little like she was a crush. Also, I am 11 years old. Thank you for writing this also go to google slides, I made you something search Hermione to access it. Also, please check it out it is fan art.